Life With A reactive Dog: Sue McManus & Monty

Written by Sue.

Monty is a 2 ½ year old Scottie.  I got him when he was 14 weeks old and I was so excited when he came to live with me.  I was like a child at Christmas. I had waited 36 years for him as my husband did not want a dog, but he finally gave in and succumbed.  

Before I had Monty, we went to look at another puppy that was for sale, but when we got there, he was a little bundle of nerves and wouldn’t come near me. He was such an anxious little boy and just cowered in the corner of the room.  Every time I tried to approach he would move away and would not let me interact with him. I couldn’t even stroke him. After much thought, I decided not to have him as I was worried about the issues that I might have due to him already being so nervous. Needless to say, I didn’t realise what would be in store for me anyway, but I do often think about him and hope that he did go to a good home.

I was struggling to find another littler locally however, one came up that was only in Doncaster so off we went… Monty was the last one of the litter and I was told he was 12 weeks old and was ready for his next injections, but when I took him to get these the vet advised me that he was 14 weeks old and I therefore had to start his injections all over again. This meant that I could not take him out for walks for a few weeks.  

I couldn’t wait for the first time we could go for a walk.  It was all I had dreamed of for weeks and was so looking forward to meeting other dog owners and for Monty to make new friends. When I was eventually able to take him out, he loved going exploring and meeting other dogs and always wanted to go up and say hello to them.

Unfortunately, my excitement was not to last as at 9 months old he started becoming reactive.  I first noticed he had started to react to pick-up trucks that drove past us. Over the next 18 months his reactivity has gone in peaks and troughs where we would just get one thing mastered and under control and then something else would frighten him or cause pain or concern. It’s been a constant uphill battle it feels.

I noticed him becoming lead reactive when out walking on my local estate. He knew where every dog was, where the cats had set up camp and was even looking for vehicles to come and startle him. This got me to the point that I could no longer take him out for walks. When he was reacting to every dog, it stressed both him and myself out to the point that I couldn’t do anything with him.

His reactivity heightened and he continued to react at pick-ups. But then started reacting to wheelchairs, bikes, pushchairs and anything else with wheels. He would then react when dogs came onto the television, barking continuously at them but this soon moved on to any animal and at anything else he wishes to bark at. Music, people running, etc. Even people walking past the house, whether alone or with a dog would trigger him.  When he is in the car, he reacts to dogs outside, loud vehicles passing and he really does not like cats or ginger Spaniels! Oh! And don’t start me off with the fireworks! Almost every night for two weeks, before and after Bonfire Night was horrendous. Monty just barked continually until they stopped. Nothing I did would calm him. It was heartbreaking.

One day when walking in Clumber Park a car went over a cattle grid and the noise of the vehicle going over the grid frightened him so much that he went like off a bullet chasing after the car. This saw another increase in reactivity, I constantly felt like I was finding myself back at square one.

Walks were not the relaxing bonding time I thought they would be.  I was feeling out of my depth and felt completely overwhelmed. I got to the point I just didn’t want to take him out anymore but knew I had to. I would take him for a walk around the block, dreading the ordeal and often I would be reduced to tears by the time we got back home.

This was not what I envisioned owning a dog would be like.

Shortly after his reactivity first started I approached Sarah at Total Dog who arranged for me to have some training with him.  This helped initially but when the training concluded, something else would begin to trigger him. It felt like we would be working on one thing and just make progress for something else to start. I never felt like I was getting anywhere and I know I gave up easily with the training often just feeling like a failure by the end of it. I know now that isn’t the case but at the time I just couldn’t see this getting any better.

Although Monty was reactive on a lead, he wasn’t aggressive. I enrolled Monty at Daycare with Total Dog one day a week so that he could meet and socialise with other dogs, make new friends and have a great day enjoying himself.  He has such a wonderful time there and absolutely loves going. It has been one of the best things I have done for him. It has reduced his reactivity in some areas as this allowed him off lead, supervised time which has increased his recall training and helped with my confidence as I never let him off a lead. EVER!

Sarah mentioned to me that she organised monthly dog walks and I should go to them with Monty as it would help with his socialising and for me to make new friends. She told me I had dreamt of this from before I got Monty and that this would be good for us both. But to be honest the thought of it petrified me! However, I put on my big girl pants and decided to give it a try. When I arrived at the venue and saw the number of dogs there I just panicked. However, I stayed at the back and Sarah walked with me to help me settle in. At first, I kept Monty on his lead as he had no recall, but Sarah told me to let him off. I told her I couldn’t as he wouldn’t come back but she had known him in daycare and had walked with me a lot by this point and she knew it was me that was more worried than he was! So, she did no more than bent down, undid his lead and let him off. He went off like a rocket, my heart was in my mouth but boy, did he enjoy himself.  It was so heartwarming to see him with all the other dogs having the best time of his life.  Sarah really did know him by this point and most of all she knew me. She was a great support and knew it was more me who needed reassuring.

He is now fine off lead. I plan our walks to go somewhere where I can take his lead off and let him have some fun and enjoy himself. This is the only time I feel happy taking him out but even that comes with stress at times. He once decided to take off and chase a tractor along the field. It was completely out the blue because he had never ever reacted to a tractor or chased anything like this before. This was the kind of thing that made owning him so unpredictable and stressful. However, I still don’t feel confident taking him out on my own and much prefer to take him on walks with Sarah and her dogs who Monty absolutely adores, they have become his very best playmates. He loves being in daycare and still benefits from his monthly group walks too.

After we had had some training sessions, Sarah talked to me about the possibility of Monty having some pain issues and this could be a contributing factor to his reactivity. I took Monty to the vets for a check-up but their examination of him showed no pain indicators at all. Sarah wasn’t convinced so suggested that I book an appointment with Jayne at K9 Bodycare. Jayne specialises in Massage Therapy, Osteopathy and Conditioning. Jayne was wonderful and did in fact identify several back issues that Monty has such as pain down his lower back and spine. Tight facia and issues in his neck and shoulders.

After several sessions we saw a vast improvement, but Jayne also thought that Monty would benefit from some Physiotherapy. After looking into this I decided that I would book him an appointment with Lily Moffatt Veterinary Physiotherapy and Monty has now had several sessions with her too.  Lily’s first assessment with Monty showed several issues that he was having. Mirroring Jaynes findings. He is continuing treatment monthly with Lily and Jayne and we have been seeing some incredible results. He is also now on regular pain medication, a join supplement and a change of diet all carefully selected for Monty. The results have been incredible and worth it.

Sarah has continued to be very proactive with helping me with his training. She is very passionate about holistic therapy and introduced her Harmonising Bond Method™️ which involves unblocking their nervous system, balancing their energy centres and resetting the vagus nerve.  She has carried out this method on Monty, and I immediately saw a difference in him. He became very relaxed and settled after the treatment and would be less reactive to the TV or people passing the house. She taught me touch techniques and showed me how to release his tension. This has been invaluable in helping him settle especially at night.

Our journey has felt at times like it’s been never ending and although he is still reactive with certain things it is more controlled. I have the comfort of knowing that Sarah, Jayne and Lily are all helping me with his issues and I do hope in time that this will continue to ease his pain and help with the reactivity.

One thing they have all taught me is that I now know that Monty is not an aggressive dog and that his reactivity is his way of showing his fear or discomfort and how frightening this must be for him. I have learnt more than I ever imagined owning Monty. It wasn’t the fairytale I dreamt of and has in fact been really stressful at times. I have ploughed hours of my time into providing the best possible home for him and will do for the rest of his life.

For those that don’t have a reactive dog, they don’t understand how stressful and worrying this can be for both dog and owner. Understanding Monty did not make it any less stressful and I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming guilt that I felt. Guilt that I couldn’t give Monty the happy life I thought he would have, guilt when I felt resentment toward him, and guilt when I compare our struggles to those who have what seems to be the “perfect pet”. I felt like his reactivity was all my fault. I blamed myself for not socialising him enough and that I was failing him every single day. I should have put more hours into training him in the early days, but I suppose I was naïve in my thinking about what owning a dog would be like. I even got to the point of thinking that Monty would be better off going to a new home because I was such a useless mum to him.  I shed many a tear because I couldn’t stop thinking what a horrible life he was having because of me.

I wasn’t prepared for how judgemental people could be. I’ve been shouted at and had some real dirty looks from people over Monty’s behaviour. This just made me feel even more useless. People would even cross the street to avoid us.  I just felt like all they could see was a badly behaved dog and an incapable owner who should not even be allowed to have a pet. The stress of all this is also became physical. My whole-body tensed and my heart rate spiked whenever I saw another dog approaching, saw a pick-up or even a child running in the local park. It has been and still is absolutely exhausting.

Now that I understand the issues Monty has, I am learning to relax more when taking him out. I know that he picks up on my stress so I’m not just working on helping Monty but also working on myself to be a better mum for him. I am working on trying to be more relaxed on our walks, to look around at our surroundings and if I see anything in the distance that I think Monty might react to I get him on a lead, bring him close and use the training techniques I have learnt to divert away from the issue. I find it stressful when he runs off into the woods doing his normal Terrier thing, especially when I can’t see where he is, but I try to stay relaxed knowing he is just enjoying himself and he will come back to me when called. He has some fantastic friends, and I am now getting a glimmer of that life I imagined when I first got him. I even took him to the beach this summer where he has the BEST time getting wet, muddy and chasing birds.

Perhaps one of the hardest things I’ve had to come to terms with is the grief I feel for the dog I thought I would have. Not taking that nervous little pup because I knew my limits as an owner to then be faced with everything I have with Monty has been extremely hard. I love Monty fiercely and I’m coming to terms with the fact that he may never be “cured” but one thing is for sure, I will never give up on him, and I will continue to do whatever I can to help him with his issues. 

I have come to realise that we have a bond Monty and I, a bond created through challenge, patience and an unconditional commitment.   

It’s not the journey I signed up for and I know that everything cannot be fixed, and that’s okay.

It’s not easy and I hope that anyone reading this who do not have a reactive dog will be more understanding with those who do.  When you see us out with our reactive pets, please, please do not judge is.  We are doing the best that we can.